Things I didn’t realize

I knew for the last three years I had slept and eaten according to Murphy’s schedule. Being his primary caregiver and caretaker had become a big part of my days and my life. What I didn’t realize until this last week, is what a large part of my life it was.

Slowly, I have realized I can do things purely on my own schedule now. I’m still trying to get used to that. It’s a strange feeling because as any pet owner knows, pets have needs that must be tended to at any time, especially older pets.

We are also feeling the relief of no longer dreading the inevitable. We had fought so hard to try to avoid what was surely coming and dreaded it all like hell. It’s over now. It’s not something we must dread anymore. Whether anyone wants to admit it or not, there is a certain relief that comes with that.

We have decided, for now, we will not add another dog to our family. We need a timeout. We need to learn to live without Murphy and not try to make another little dog be Murphy. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone concerned.

We think probably one morning we will open the front door and see a little dog sitting there on the welcome mat, looking back at us. He’ll probably say, Hi, I’m your new dog! And he’ll walk right in with all his little belongings in tow. Another cycle will begin.