Hey guys,
So I'm real sorry for being such a terrible blogger that you have subscribed to (not that anyone really cares...) but nevertheless I apologize!
The last few months while I have been away from blogging, I've really been thinking deep, about myself, life and what not. I've had doubts about myself, my path I've chosen and regrets about different things. I've grown and learnt from them but doesn't mean they'll ever go away because they are still a part of me and who I am. I'm much stronger than I was before but there are days where I seriously doubt myself.
Friends that I made when I was in university, those who I would have considered close friends, I am no longer friends with. Everyone who I studied with have all gone and done really well getting their Masters, PhDs, getting good jobs they enjoy, etc. But me, I'm still here on square 1, feels like I haven't progressed or improved or done anything since I left university. I'm no where near where I want to be.. but in saying that, I don't even know where I'd like to be. Sometimes this makes me feel so insignificant and miniscule. Not a nice feeling.
Don't get me wrong, I'm, most of the time, a super positive person that enjoys nothing but laughing and making others laugh, but there are days when even the happiest person feels down.
I'm 26 this year and not getting any younger and I feel like my path is narrowing itself as time goes by and it makes me feel so lost sometimes about what I should do with myself.
So recently I've been thinking hard about what I really enjoy doing and what I'd like to pursue or work on. I've always enjoyed music and singing, so I have signed myself up for singing lessons with my friend once a week to work on that! Next, I have been very lucky to have gotten roles in a film, TV series and TV advertisements that I have grown a love for it, thus I am working hard and trying it out in the acting industry. It's not easy, but like they say, YOLO (you only live once!) so I figured I might as well try it out while I have time.
Acting, singing, music is what I am currently up to from now until March. I have applied for a research Masters in Pharmacy but waiting to hear back from them! So I am making sure I am making the most out of my time I have. You never live the same day again, once it's gone it's gone, so live it like it's your last day (because technically it is your last day of that day ever!)
So every day I try and live it to the max.. try I will, but obviously I have my lazy days!
I've also taken up a new hobby! I really enjoy reading now, and best place for me to do it is in a nice cozy cafe with lots of couches! My new favourite coffee shop in Dublin City Center to read is Accent cafe! It's super chill and lots of cozy sofas! The staff is really friendly which is a bonus! :)
So what's the point of this post? I'm not too sure exactly myself! But probably to never give up on your dreams! Because nothing is impossible, only you make it impossible with the limitations you set on yourself! Go and live your life as yourself and not how others want to see you because that way of living is just painful. You only live once so make the most of it! Life is too short to spend moping around and feeling sorry for yourself! GO on, live a little, be yourself and stop worrying about what others think! You'll find that you'll be much happier this way.
And on the boys front this is all I have to say:
Sorry for the super long post but I think I got most of what I wanted to say out!
I'll be posting every week now so looking forward to spamming you guys again!
Lots of love,
Eneshai
xxx
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